OH, MAGALUF.  It’s a Mecca for young men of a certain age.

But before Twitter user Kieran Lumsden headed off to the resort, he received an important manual from his girlfriend advising him what he was and was not permitted to do.

It was entitled 10 Rules for Magaluf and it was SERIOUS

Keern / Twitter Keern / Twitter / Twitter

The rules included not mixing drinks, making sure his phone was charged at all times and, crucially, not so much as looking at other girls

1. Make sure your phone is charged at ALL times. Phone me at least once a day. (2 mins)
2. No girls whatsoever. Don’t look, don’t talk, do not touch. (Cheat and I will destroy everything Celtic and make your life a living hell.)
3. Do not follow girls on social media.
4. Tattoo = NAW. You’ll be checked when you get home.
5. Don’t mix drink!! “Drugs are for mugs”

Keern / Twitter Keern / Twitter / Twitter

And it didn’t end there…

1. If on boat party, no drinking games with the opposite sex.
2. Stay in your own bed!
3. Dinny buy girls drink. That money can be spent on me.
4. Text Kim everyday! She’ll be worrying.
5. You tell every girl about me OK. If someone flirts, walk away. NO PHOTOS WITH RANDOM GIRLS OR SC STORIES.

Keern / Twitter Keern / Twitter / Twitter

Intense.

Lumsden shared the rulebook on Twitter and it has been retweeted thousands of times

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And so far it looks as though he’s behaved himself…

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